BensonHsu.com

previously the sileightymania.com journal.

Browsing Posts in Just Talking

I know, I’m late but that’s what everybody puts on their blog. Happy New Year!

Man this past Christmas was HECTIC. I thought I would have all this free time on my hands, but I didn’t. There were Christmas parties everywhere but it was really nice spending time with family. Christmas was so exciting for me as a child and it kind of died as I became a teenager. But now that I’m older and learning to appreciate things more, add in the fact that I have a family now, Christmas has a renewed charm for me again.

Nadine was having some complications and the doctor has put her on bed rest. What is bed rest? Exactly what it sounds like! She has to sit in bed ALL DAY LONG. It’s really making her crazy and I don’t blame her… it’s like turning your own home into a jail cell. But she’s hanging in there and she’s doing a really good job of not doing much. I’m thinking she’ll have to last another month at the longest. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for sooner though.

So anyway, I’m now Mr. Mom and taking care of everything around the house and I haven’t had any time to go drifting but I did squeeze a few hours in there to put on my canards. I took off my spoiler too, for a new look. I don’t know why, but my car looks so wiiiiide new. I love it… I’m going to leave it this way for a while.

Geez, where are all my pics? My blog is so boring!

7 months later?!

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Okay so I’ve been neglecting the journal. BUT I’ve been thinking about it everyday! See, you’re loved journal, even though I don’t tell it to your face.

Man 7 months? That’s pretty much the entire drifting season huh? Needless to say, a lot has happened and a lot has changed. But thank God, things have been changing for the better!

I don’t even know where to start… So maybe I won’t even try and recap EVERYTHING. Here’s a real quick and dirty recap:

  1. I crashed my car at the Home Depot Center while drifting the media/ride-along day for NOPI drift. Not bad, just some rear bumper scrapage, and bent lower control arm, and a bent wheel (this hurt the most!)
  2. Nadine and I were invited by ClubFR to go to Chicago and we judged their Midwest Competition. A quick trip but so fun nonetheless!
  3. The infamous Paz and Laura stayed at my house and Paz drifted my car! It was the best time ever! Gash!
  4. Nadine is pregnant!!! We’ve been waiting so long for this to happen… we’ve planned and planned and finally, things came together and we realized that the time is right. Kristy is excited and we’re excited… and we also found out – It’s a girl!
  5. Last night I had dinner with Dai Yoshihara and we talked about everything under the sun. I’m glad that I have a “drifting” friend who I can share real life with. But I’m also glad to realize that I don’t envy the Formula D life anymore. I’m a well adjusted normal guy with a family and a future to plan for. I miss those days but I wouldn’t give up what I have now to get those days back.

So I haven’t driven for a month. I think I’m gonna go back out in the next week or so to get it out of my system. Poor Nadine had to stop because of the baby, so I won’t rub it in her face. I’ll just come home and say “ehhh, it was OK.” even though it was probably pretty awesome!

I’m going to work on this site a lot more since I won’t be driving as much for Nadine’s sake. There are a bunch of things I wanted to do to it…

Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving with your family and friends!

Life changes

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I haven’t written a non-automotive related journal entry in a while, but I guess since a lot of things have been changing lately, and that I USED to do this all the time, I thought I would write a new one. Well first off, I got a new job! I’m no longer at Overboost… Now I’m at Southland Credit Union. Now I have to dress nice to go to work everyday, now I get to work a normal 8 hour day without having to be complained to… now I have a real job like a normal adult! It’s been strange how my life has taken a detour because of the slump in the economy in 2001. But I’m starting to get back on track now… this job isn’t as glamorous as my first job out of college, but I think there’s a lot of promise here. I’m happy to get this new opportunity. I have so many goals OUTSIDE of drifting and car stuff, and this will finally allow me to accomplish some of them. It feels really good… especially since I have Nadine and Kristy specifically in mind. As for my drifting situation for 2005, I’m both excited and kind of uneasy about it. I’m unsure about sponsorships, the different season series, and my involvement in events. I love drifting… the competitions are fun too, but there are things about it that get me bummed out. I hate selling myself to get sponsors, I hate the seriousness of it, I hate the politics, the secrets, the deals. It stinks. Plus, it takes so much time out of my life to deal with all this stuff behind the scenes and to prepare and to fly out to all the events. There’s always been a seriousness around me since drifting started to get big… a feeling of people watching… a feeling that you have to prove to people that I’m serious about drifting and that I want to get good and stay good and be committed to the sport and its supporters. All that SUCKS. I just want to have fun and I just want to drive. I’m completely happy once I’m in my car and I’m drifting… but the other 95% drama associated with drifting gets me down. That’s why I’ve informally decided that this will be my last year of drifting competitively. Will I drop out of people’s minds when they think about the popular drifters in the US? Yeah… but I don’t care. I’ll also lose all my sponsors… no tire support, no anything support. But I’ll still have fun, and I’ll still be drifting, and I’ll still be teaching people and giving them the awesome gift of learning how to drift too. That’s all good enough for me. That’s what makes me happy. I wonder if quitting the competitions will keep me happy? I still love the challenge of courses that mostly only competetions can bring.

Nadine’s grandfather’s funeral was last week. It was the most touching funeral I’ve ever been to. Not because of how the ceremony went… but because I understood how much of a loss the entire world had suffered because of his passing. He was easily one of the best men I’ve ever met… and I think it’s because of my age that I can fully realize and appreciate that now. My grandparents passed away when I was young… my grandmother passed away when I was in elementary school… my grandfather passed away when I was a senior in high school. My great grandmother passed away a few years ago. I guess when I talk about age, I mean in a sense of maturity and awareness. I’m hoping that the medical bills didn’t end up being too high… I’d be willing to give my RS-R prize event winnings to Nadine’s grandmother to help pay it off. Nadine was soooo strong throughout the whole ordeal. I’m so proud of her and I’m glad to know that when times are tough and the people around her are weak, she will be the crutch that everybody can lean on.

Anyway. RS-R Chicago!
As you might remember, the KAAZ car was sitting around with a blown engine… I couldn’t compete in that. So Ron, offered me his car… you might have seen the car before… it has a lot of history. Anyway, Ron did me a HUGE favor and put in a lot of work and money so that I could drive the car. He installed a cage… installed some cams… did some tuning, etc… all at the last minute. Ron is such a cool guy… he’s done so much for me this year. I haven’t even known him for very long yet he’s come through for me like I’m an old friend, and I really appreciate that.

Nadine was at home taking care of her grandfather who was in the critical care unit at the hospital. We decided it was best for her to stay home because I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened while she was half way across the country. So I flew in early early Saturday morning by myself. It was a really strange experience flying into an unfamiliar city/state all by myself… renting a car… and then finding my way to the track so that I can wrench on the car by myself. I was lucky that I have a friend Rob in Chicago… he is a very nice guy, and I was glad that I was able to call him to get directions on how to get to the track, and what to order from White Castle. Haha! If you’ve ever wondered what White Castle sliders taste like… you don’t have to travel far far away to taste it. Just go to your local grocery store and buy a box from the freezer section. They taste EXACTLY the same… except the bread doesn’t get hard when it gets cold.

ANYWAY… after finding grabbing a bite to eat and finding a Walmart to buy some supplies, I headed over to the track… The reason why I flew in a day before the event was because I had to work on Ron’s car and make some changes before it was ready for competition. We forgot to put the rocker arm stoppers in, so that was one thing… the other thing was changing the B&M short shifter that was in there… that thing was so hard to shift, I was constantly mis-shifting. That’s not a good thing when you are coming into a corner really fast and you need to downshift to keep from going too wide. When I pulled up, I met some of the local guys, who were awesome, by the way. Really friendly people… I had so many people offer me their help and even people who kept me company while I was working on the car. Rob was super generous and offered to change my shifter for me while I was installing the rocker arm stoppers. Which was a HUMONGOUS help, since changing that shifter is rediculous, and it would have taken me another hour or so to finish working on my car in the dark. Thanks Rob! To my surprise, RS-R was there… with FOUR cars!!! They were busy working on the cars too… can you imagine? That’s A LOT of cars to get into good running condition when they all just came from Japan. The sun began to set as we finished up. Jerry, Dai, and I were in the same hotel, so we drove over to the hotel to check in and clean up. Ron flew in late that night also.

So the next day was pretty cool… there weren’t many people at the competition, and it seemed a lot more like we were there just having fun and hanging out in a new place. I was AMAZED at the talent I saw in Chicago… I was thinking that it would probably be like our first drift day competition in LA, being that this was one of the few drift events that they’ve ever had. I was wrong!! They were all very good and maybe a year, they can be as good as the guys in LA… it was awesome seeing that… and it was awesome seeing how closely knit they were… it pretty much reminded me of how things were for me a couple years ago. It was nice. I was able to sit with some of the drivers and go for a ride… which is always fun. The part I loved best was that most of those guys never had instruction from people who have been doing it longer… so I was totally honored to introduce them to proper line and help them to get better. I sat with Rob and was impressed… he did really well in such a difficult car – a Miata. After I rode with him, I told Ken and Dai “see the black turbo miata? He’s going to the finals!” and he did. He got 1st place! Congrats Rob!

As for our competition, I was driving the car pretty much for the first time. Since the last time I drove it, it had a new engine, a new turbo, new tuning, a cage, new shifter, cams… but the interesting part was that the pilot bearing decided to take a crap on us. It didn’t seem to bother me while I was kicking the clutch, but it was horrible trying to shift in a straight line and mid-drift. The powerband always dropped off when I missed the shift, and it really affected my entry speed. We went out for our introduction runs… Ken went out and played with the wall… oops. He hit pretty hard and wrecked his front tie rod, wheel, fender, and bumper. I went out and did my introduction run really quick and then came back to help Ken out with his car… he was frantic and went out looking for tie rods and stuff. Turns out that the generous guys at Tiger Racing crashed too… and donated their parts to Ken. Gushi san and I went to work and swapped all of Ken’s bad parts in a really short time. Then we went out for qualifying round!

I qualified 4th, and I found out that in the first round of tandem… it was me and Taka. Oh great. Somehow, I pulled through and won the round. For some reason, although I wasn’t making awesome runs, I was super consistent. Maybe that got it for me. In the next round, it was me and Hiroo. Oh great! Hiroo is always super super good at tandem… very consistent and very aggressive (no matter what kind of car he is driving against). In our first two runs, we both made mistakes, and we had to go into sudden death. The next round, for some reason Hiroo wasn’t able to initiate into the first corner, and I won the round.

As I was running, I was watching to see who I would be paired up with for the final round… Ken went out against Dai… and beat him, and put him into 3rd place. Holy crap! I realized that it would be Ken, Dai, and me on the podium together! It’s been ages since I was last on the podium, and I didn’t even care about that… it was the fact that we were all good friends. I was so excited to run in the finals against Ken… in the past 4 years of me drifting, I’ve never had that chance, and it made me not care how it ended up. I just realized… a year or so ago, Ken, Dai, and I would always be drifting together on Gran Turismo 3 at my house. How geeky is that! Haha! ANYWAYS… Ken and I went out and had even runs… sudden death. The next time I went out, I went out way too wide and missed the clipping point… my line ended up to be really bad, and Ken got a lot of distance on me. Ken was right on my ass when I was leading… that didn’t help either.

I ended up placing 2nd with Ken and Dai beside me. It was a lot of fun, but in the back of my mind was always Nadine and her grandfather. I wished I could fly out that night
but I was way too tired and it was a long flight. I went to dinner with Ken and his family to celebrate, then hung out with Dai and Ron for a little bit and went to bed early so that I could catch my early flight in the morning. He ended up passing away while I was in the air flying back… Nadine was with him.

I’m amazed at what my life has turned into since I first started this journal… My life has been so hectic this year, that I can barely have a weekend to just relax and do nothing. It’s been so bad, that I never update this journal until there’s a big event or something, and even that is when I have some time to breathe! I’ve been reminiscing of the “good ol’ days” back when I would write about nothing… just a thought I would have at the time, or about spending a day with the friends doing silly things. Life has changed a lot, and so has the American drifting scene. I’ve been thinking a lot about things lately, and as soon as I finish these crazy event updates, I’ll be sure to do a better job of speaking my mind even if it’s not an event recap!

Here’s my recap of D1 Driver Search at California Speedway, 2004:
Getting ready for the D1 Driver Search was kind of strange to me… Because I’m one of the KAAZ drivers now, I didn’t have to prep the car. All I had to do was prep myself the day before (i.e. – get enough sleep, eat well, drink enough water, etc.) For some reason though, I was really relaxed as if I had no driving event the next day. I’m not sure if it was because the event was at California Speedway and I didn’t care what kind of course they’d throw at me, or maybe I was kind of skeptical of participating in D1 with all of it’s politics, or maybe it was because prepping a car the night before was more stressful to me than I thought. Maybe it was all of the above. Anyway, I showed up to the event and met up with KAAZ. It was cool seeing Barry again… that guy goes through so much to get over here for all these events. I don’t know how he does it! So all the drivers went through the normal procedures… getting the cars tech inspected, unloading the cars, getting everything ready. Keiichi was there, so was Nomuken, Daijiro Inada, Kumakubo, Tanaka, and Chunky Bai. I watched Keiichi and Nomuken set up the course… it was interesting. They would walk the course and then move a cone here or there and when they were finished, they jumped into Bai’s car and did some slow laps in it, with Keiichi in the driver seat. The interesting thing about it was that he wasn’t going very fast… and would initiate late into the corner. I wondered if it’s because he doesn’t need to go fast to figure out if the course is good, or if it was other reasons? Maybe it was because it wasn’t his car and he would put it at risk by drifting it at higher speeds? Well, the course design made everybody mad pretty quickly. It was narrow, and had a long straight into a right hand reducing radius corner, with a chicane at the end of it. At the end of the long straight, there was a plastic barrier filled with water on the left hand side at the entry point was, and the judges table was straight ahead… with concrete barriers in front of it. Looking to the right of the judges table was a nice big light pole with concrete barriers in front of it as well. I knew the barriers would present a problem for a lot of the drivers that day, mostly because the range of experience in the people driving were from beginner to advanced. To make matters worse, they designed the course so that there were huge bumps on the ground right at where the initiation point should be on the first straight. Out of all the places to put the course, they put it THERE. Most of us reacted in the same way… that D1 wanted to see some crashes today, and it would be us.

I was to trying a new setup on the car that day, because I wanted to experiment with more grip on the car. That day, we used 225 Yokohama ES100s in the front and 245 Yokohama ES100s in the rear. The tires were too grippy for the power of the car… It was almost like I had to stay full throttle all the time or else the car would stop drifting… What a time to be testing a new setup! We had about 5 laps as our practice session… The first couple of laps I screwed up. One problem was that the car wasn’t running very smoothly… and whenever I got back onto the gas after letting off, the car would hesitate… and then a split second later the rpms would start moving again… it was frustrating, and I had to learn to try and guess when I’d need the throttle a split second before I actually needed it… and hope that when I got back on the gas, I would actually need it. The next 3 laps were better, but still needed some work… the bumps didn’t seem to bother me, but according to Alex Pfeiffer, my speed and line were good, but I wasn’t coming in with enough angle into the first corner. That was great advice, because I was thinking about so many things that I didn’t notice. I was thinking about what to do during my break time… because the next round was already the qualifying round. If I initiated BEFORE the bumps, I would be able to get more angle. Another thing that helped out a lot was that Keiichi clarified what he wanted for the line… in the morning, he said out out out out, in. To me, that means you stay outside all the way around the corner until you get to the apex! Of course, it seemed very strange to me, because when I originally walked the course, I thought to myself… this is a double apex… it goes out in out in. I was trying to use Keiichi’s line during practice and it just wasn’t working for me… Before our qualifying lap, he said something about a double apex and it clicked… I was practicing the wrong line. I thought about that as well as my initiation point during my quick break. It was a lot of changes to be making for a qualifying round… Usually I would stick to whatever I was practicing, because it’s usually a bad idea to be trying new things during qualifying. I didn’t want to go home unsatisfied, so I did what I thought I should do… take the correct line and come into the corner with good angle… even if it meant making last minute changes to my attack. I guess at this point, it was about self satisfaction instead of satisfying the judges.

So qualifying started… MULTIPLE cars crashed… at least 4, maybe 5. My first run was my practice run, and I let off throttle too much and the fat tires in the back took over and I lost too much momentum… I had to use my ebrake to make it to the apex okay. On my first qualifying run, I did better, but I for some reason, I spun at the very last (easiest) corner. I don’t know why I do that… And on the last qualifying run, I entered at a good speed, initiated early, extended the drift a little bit into the first apex, downshifted to 2nd, and carried it through the rest of the corner… kicking the clutch when I started to lose some speed. My line was exactly where I wanted it to be… the only problem was that I was steering too much with the steering wheel instead of using the throttle to steer the car. This is a problem I’ve noticed a lot with other drivers, and now I find myself doing it every once in a while too… I just have to stop myself before I do it and stomp my foot down on the throttle instead.

Anyway, they called the drivers meeting and announced the top 11… I was suprised to hear that I made it! That was a pretty big accomplishment… since it was out of 83 drivers. To our suprise, we found out that we had to go out again and go through another elimination round! We went out again… and I got it pretty good. We came back to another drivers meeting, and I found out I made the cut again to get to the top 8! But ack… another elimination round. I went out again… and totally repeated my runs over again… it was weird… like a carbon copy of the round before. Feint away from the corner… kick the clutch and start sliding out towards the wall, over the bumps… towards the first apex… lock the rear brakes for a quick second to maintain the line… drop back to 2nd gear and floor it EARLY to compensate for the weird hesitation… continue flooring all the way around and as I approach the 2nd apex, use the brakes and tighten up the line… and get back on the gas to go through the last chicane. Anyway, I was RELIEVED to
find out that this was the last round. I made the top and final 5… I got my D1 competitors license. And I got it the right way too… I know that D1 is a little sketchy when it comes to the way they run things… and originally they wanted me to just be qualified for the D1 competition without qualifying the right way. I told them “no thanks”… and that I would qualify along with everybody else. Well now I have it, and it feels good to earn it. And I’m going back to 215s and 235s haha! Marc just told me that the DVD just came out… Man… they can make a DVD faster than I can write a journal entry. Sorry!

Wow… there is so much going on. There are a lot of things I can’t tell all of you yet, but it will all come out in a couple weeks. But pretty much, my world is being turned upside down. It’s not personal problems… it’s about drifting. Things are changing so quickly… we are all taking a huge step… and there’s no going back. For me, I’m overwhelmed by the opportunity, the lack of opportunity, politics, competition, the question of cost/dedication/purpose. I was asked this morning if I think I’m confident in my skills as a driver in comparison to others… this, to me, covers a broad range of “others” from beginners to D1 drivers. How do I answer that? Is there some sort of meter that defines your drifting skill from 0-100? I wish I could disclose the craziness that I’m going through right now, but if I did, it would upset a lot of people. For now, let me just tell you that I’m thinking about things that I never thought I would be (or should be) thinking about right now, and I’m going to be experiencing things that I never thought I would experience. I feel so awkward about things, I think that sometimes I’m jumping in over my head or setting myself up for drowning in unchartered waters. And to think… this is only a small portion of my life! I still have a girlfriend that I love so much, her daughter that teaches me things everyday, and a future that I’m trying to plan for… and a car that is sitting there broken! Wish me luck with coping with the stress… I’ll write again soon.